do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
