Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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