Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
