She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
