didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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