im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
