forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
