Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
