Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
