Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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