wat bout pragnant strippers??
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
