She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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