If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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