Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
