FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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