It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
