well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
