i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So squirting runs in the family.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
