people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
