Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
