thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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