do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I want a musical about memes.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
