we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
