I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
