I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
