yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
