I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
