this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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