when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just high enough for therapy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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