I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
