your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
