thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
