I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
