Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
