In the future we'll all be gay
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
