The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
