tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
areolas are like halos for boobs.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
