you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
