he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
