We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
