Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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