I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
