I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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