Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
