You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
