so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
