I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
