I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
