Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I haven't been this sober since birth.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
