stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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