I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
